We lost our dear Aunt Cynth on May 10. She died with most of her seven children with her in St. Louis with many of her grandchildren and great-children joining for a flower and candle petal ceremony afterward. I was here in South Haven with my sister Anne, and Cynth’s grand-daughter Marion and her husband Rick. In fact we were eating Sherman’s ice cream and watching a golden sunset just as Aunt Cynth passed. She would have thought that was perfect. I’ll follow with my own thoughts on Aunt Cynth but Marion and I sat outside on the lawn between 303 and 317 and she shared some of her’s. As she notes, Marion is leading a fascinating life. She had her son, Nick at 17. She has been sommelier in Napa and has run a cannabis farm in the Sierra foothills. Marion on her dear Grammy Cynth:

There are so many things that made her special to me and that I loved about her. She had this intense wisdom of so many subjects. It was fascinating because in a certain way she led a sheltered life and had an innocent way about her. She hadn’t seen life as I have and was fascinated in such a real way about everything I was doing. For instance she wanted to know all about my wine life. I would read her my wine write-ups for restaurants. She wanted to know how the high end restaurants I worked at operated from the inside out. When we had the farm she wanted to know all about our day-to-day lives and all that went into growing cannabis.

Grammy Cynth was so fascinated by lives different than her own. She wants everything well described. By listening she made people feel like they matter and that the things they do matter. Even in her final weeks when we were here in South Haven she wanted to hear what we were doing, and asked us to describe the colors, smells and sounds of spring here on Lake Michigan.

I remember I was very nervous to tell her when I was 17 years old and pregnant. I kept putting it off. But in the end she was so amazingly gracious and truly happy for me. She was the only person who didn’t act as if my life was over. I mean, I wasn’t sad. I wanted the child and I wanted to be a mother. Grammy told me to not listen to the negativity and that bringing a new life into the world was a good thing. Years later when I told her I was getting a divorce, she was so comforting. She said life is a roller coaster and not a merry-go-round. There are ups and downs.

She made my life better by accepting that it is my life. The hard times don’t mean you are not a good person. She advocated for me as she did all of her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. She understood that life is not always easy.

I loved Grammy’s sense of humor. She was always so damn funny. She helped raise us as our parents were going through the divorce. We spent a lot of time with them in Naples. Sometimes James, Emily would get in trouble for something, then we’d be crying and pretty soon we’d be laughing. There was always a funny ending.

Grammy taught me that love is boundless and it’s always possible to love more. She taught me to fall in love and keep falling in love with the world around us….books, music, short stories, poetry. There is no cap and there is always more. It was amazing how she always knew where every one of her grandchildren were located at any given time and what they were doing.

One of my favorite memories with her was when we spent a few week in Naples with Grammy and Grampy when Nick was 4. The days were filled with tennis, walks to the pier, playing with Nick. I remember the Oscars were on and Grammy wanted to know about every movie and every actor and she was so amazed I knew about them all. It was fun showing Nick the coconut tree I loved to climb as a kid there.

There was a period when I would take Grammy to lunch every Wednesday in St. Louis. It was unofficial R&D for Nick’s pub so we went all out going to the nicest places. We loved those luncheons. More recently I would try to replicate them by trying to find the best Chinese food, dumplings, cupcakes etc. from throughout St. Louis and bringing them to her house for lunch. And then at home we would listen to NPR or a book on tape. I also loved cooking for her…Asian food like Pad Thai and soups like French Onion. In losing Grammy I feel like I’ve lost my best friend. I just feel grateful to have had her be such a big part of my life for all these years. I am very lucky.