Roger was on the stepstool, hovering over my bed, installing a new overhead lamp. “Why did you buy this one?” he grumbled. “Look, you will have to unscrew these four screws just to change a light bulb.” I looked at Roger and said, “Roger, I’m not going to be changing those light bulbs. I’m calling you, and you    are going to change the light bulbs.”

Roger and I had spent most of our days for the past month together. He is a true man-of-all-trades—electrician, plumber, handyman, etc. My friend Toni referred him to me when I said I wanted to remodel my bathroom. Day two into the project I called Toni and said, “What the heck, Toni? I can’t tell if he’s talking to me or talking to himself. I’ve already gone to Ace to buy and return parts twice. He second-guesses everything I want to do, even though it’s my bathroom.” Toni just laughed. “I know you could handle him,” she said, “You’ll see. “He’s worth it.”

Roger, like most handyman working on their own that I’ve known, is quirky, to see the least. Many days we would meet at Home Depot to purchase needed parts. He, the handyman, however, would arrive without his glasses, a measuring tape, flashlight or a small knife to open boxes to examine products. As I rolled my eyes, I lent him my own glasses and he ran around the store finding “loaners” for us to use. When choosing the shower head, Roger thought I was being too extravagant with my purchase. “But I want one with a separate showerhead so I can wash Fiona, and I want a big one for my own shower,” I explained. “And, by the way, IT’S MY BATHROOM!” In another instance, Roger was insisting I get a new vanity. I liked my old one, however, because it was tall. Finally, we agreed to get a new one when he promised to add “legs” to it, adding a good four inches.

Right off the back, there was a familiarity between us because we both came from large families and were one of eight kids. And we shared a sadness in that we both had lost siblings…me losing Jimmy, he losing two siblings. Over the lunches I made him (and that he raved about my cooking, ha!) we talked about this and the other people important in our lives. I also shared with him how I had gone to detox and rehab for prescription opiod use, and he told me he had his own struggles. We got close in a short time. In fact, he would tell Toni that we had very similar lives.

Plus, Fiona loved him. He brought her treats, gave her belly rubs and it didn’t take long for her to give Roger her infamous “wiggle butt” only reserved for her most favorite (and mostly male) friends.

When the bathroom was finished Roger was scheduled to start a new job in Boulder but the weather turned cold. GREAT! I did an inventory around my house and in two days he changed out every doorknob (many that never had worked), painted my front door and a myriad of other tasks. For this he charged me $350. I wrote him a check for $600. We argued about this, he saying it was too much. We agreed that when I returned from Steamboat the next week he’d come and and paint the front shutters to match the door. While in Steamboat I got texts from Roger. “Are you home yet? I can come tomorrow to paint the shutters.” When I did get home I texted Roger but I didn’t hear back from him. That’s because he collapsed the night before and died. I haven’t heard yet of a cause.  But everyone is heartbroken, especially Toni and including me. And now, his family had to postpone his memorial, scheduled for last weekend.

Every night as I get in my new bathtub I get teary thinking about Roger. He was my new-found handyman. But in a short amount of time, he also became my friend. And now I’ll have to change my own damn lightbulbs.